Stomach Churns

What kind of people voluntarily give up sleep, appetite, and — not least — their privacy for at least four years? Being a head of state is arguably the most stressful job one can have.

Barack Obama went grey during his first term. Young Justin Trudeau has already grown a grey prophet's beard. Back home in Norway, even Trygve Slagsvold Vedum (leader of the Centre Party) has stopped grinning. And that's only three months in — he isn't even the prime minister. Year by year, hair by hair, the job drains you of your will to live.

Just think of all the logistics required for prime minister Jonas Gahr Støre to take a short skiing trip in the forests around Oslo. First, he has to manage to find a 90-minute window months in advance. Then he needs bodyguards who can both protect him and keep up on cross-country skis. Finally, he has to try to get more than four hours of sleep before he can strap on his skis. But it all falls apart the moment a new crisis erupts.

I understand that power is fun, but is it fun enough in Norway? The US president at least has Air Force One, the nuclear football, and direct access to every person on Earth. Putin has luxury escorts, caviar, and the ability to make annoying critics disappear. In Norway, on the other hand, what awaits is a regular commercial flight, a cafeteria lunch, and endless meetings with irritated and narrow-minded interest groups.

The worst part is that even if you do everything 100 percent right, you're still ultimately responsible for a government full of gaffe-prone ministers. A small scandal — say, in the Ministry of Fisheries — can easily topple an entire government. There's no end to what can go wrong.

Yet there are plenty of people jostling for the chance to sleep poorly, drink instant coffee with every meal, and listen to endless marching band music at school openings.

No, I don't get it.

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This piece was originally published in Klassekampen (a Norwegian daily newspaper) in 2022.